I Failed 4 Times

I decided that 4 kids was PLENTY for me. I decided that if DHS called with a child, I would tell them our home is full (I've actually already done that before). I decided that my quiver is full (see Psalm 127:3-5 if you don't understand that).

Then I began not only to read Radical by David Platt, but I began to go through a Radical study with Cowboy & 3 other couples.

During the first week of our study, God very plainly spoke to my heart about my decision that our family was complete. He let me know that He alone would decide when He was finished adding blessings to mine & Cowboy's life.

So, I have been teasing Cowboy that after I go to Uganda this next year, I'm sure God will call us to adopt from Africa. I really have not heard that from God, but it's fun to tease.

Then, during the next week of our study, I began to feel YUCK! I started thinking back to the last time that I knew for sure I wasn't pregnant. In the busy-ness (& infertileness that has been our lives over the last several years), I hadn't a clue when that was.

A couple days later Cowboy brought home a gift for me, a pregnancy test. Failed. Because I had failed pregnancy tests with both of my previous pregnancies, we weren't putting a lot of stock into those results.

So after a few more days, I bought a double-pack of pregnancy tests. I took one. Failed.

Then I decided I was SICK of not knowing for sure. I scheduled an appointment with my doctor. The morning of the appointment Cowboy suggested I go ahead and use up the last test. Failed.

I told the doctor of my concerns. Had blood drawn. Got a call the next day. Failed.

So...now I have failed 4 times & still have no idea what is up with my body.

The great thing here is that I don't feel like I've failed. I still get to go to Africa next year. I still get to go skiing in February with Cowboy, the munchkins, and some dear friends.

I don't, however, get the joy of having a brand new, sweet baby next spring to love on and take care of. Or do I? Maybe DHS will call and God will tell us to say yes. Maybe He won't. Maybe we'll eventually adopt from Africa. Maybe we won't.

Hopefully, though, we'll listen and choose to be in the center of God's will.

Can't think of anywhere in life I'd rather be than that.

Our Homeschooled Munchkins are SO Deprived!

We picked up Miss B yesterday & are currently hanging out in the Dallas area for a couple days as a family before heading back home and into the busy-ness of life.

SO many things have amazed us about how she handled herself without us near. Some great friendships were formed with the other people on her team. She had a great time reaching out to homeless people and innercity kids.

However, the part that sticks out the most in my mind is this...

We were leaving the YWAM (Youth With a Mission) ranch and saw an old school bus driving to the area that we just left. Cowboy & I suggested that it was probably heading to pick up a youth group that was part of Miss B's team.

At this point she blurted out, "I got to ride a school bus! I was SO excited! Everyone said, 'Uck! We have to ride on a school bus?' And I was like, 'Sweet! I get to ride a school bus! How cool!"

That's what happens when you send your 13-year old homeschooled daughter on a mission trip...She finally gets to ride a school bus & is excited about it!

Thankful Thursday

This week I am thankful for...

1. An end in sight to the rearrangement of our munchkins' furniture and painting their bedrooms.

2. Less stuff in our home...declutter, declutter, declutter!

3. A trip with Cowboy that is now booked to Washington, DC in September. I can't wait for four nights with NO munchkins. I've never been to DC and am excited to indulge the nerdy side of myself. Did I mention the fact that I'll have uninterrupted time with Cowboy on the flights there & back? CAN'T wait!

4. The conversations that my friend Supersize (because of her supersized family & heart) and I are having as we figure out where in Africa God wants us to go next year. SO many kids that need God's love!

5. My father-in-law's retirement! He put in his last day of work yesterday and we're all going to go celebrate with him this evening.

6. Progress in NoBo's development. In the last several weeks he has said Mama, Nana, and many other things. He's bringing a baby doll to us for us to kiss on a regular basis. He's wanting to hug often. He's saying, "woof, woof" when he sees pictures of dogs. He FINALLY weighs 20 pounds!!! He brought me lotion today to massage him. AMAZING things are happening in his little body and I'm very grateful to God for progress.

7. Communication with Miss B while she's away on her first big mission trip. I can't wait to see her pretty face & hug the breath out of her!!!

8. 2 sweet boys in Rwanda that C-Man and Little I are sponsoring from Compassion International. Their pictures arrived yesterday and today and are framed in their bedrooms. 2 sweet boys in my home are thrilled to get to pray for these guys on the other side of the world. There's talk from our kids that we someday need to take a family trip to Rwanda to meet all 3 kids we have there. Can't imagine how that could ever happen, but I love that they're thinking like this.

Missing Miss B Who's in Mission

Miss B (our 13-year old daughter) has been on her mission trip now for 1 1/2 weeks. Only a few more days until we get to pick her up & I can't wait.

She has called and texted periodically, but it's all been abbreviated communication until today.

Today when she called we actually TALKED. We discussed the work that her group is doing, the people that are on her mission team, and about our plans to go to IKEA after we pick her up on Sunday.

I asked her if they had already done VBS with the inner-city kids today and she said that would be this evening.

She said, "We worked with homeless people today. Mom, I love homeless people." (I already knew this because we pray for homeless people when we see them on the street corner & we try to keep water & food in our van to give to them & she has always been concerned for them).

I said, "I know, but you love those VBS kids too, don't you?"

To which she said, "Yeah, mom. I just love people."

WOW!!! It doesn't get much better than that!

I pray that I'm training all my munchkins to love people the way Christ loves us.

He Keeps Me in Stitches

Today C-Man & Cowboy were wrestling around when Cowboy noticed something on C-Man's toenail. He said, "What's on your toenail?"

C-Man said, "It's a crack and it's been there as long as I can remember."

To which Cowboy replied,

"It's better to have a crack in your toenail than a toenail in your crack."

Laughter is such a beautiful thing!!!

Thankful Thursday

This week I am thankful for...

1. A stranger (a black man in his 50's) in the parking lot of the library who called out loudly to me, "Are those your children?" I answered, "Yes, sir." He went on to tell me what a marvelous thing adoption was & that I should never listen to people of his ethnicity who say these children are missing out on their culture by being adopted by white parents. He said, "culture is how you're loved and that's all that matters." What sweet words of affirmation from a complete stranger!

2. Miss B and Cowboy are home after having a great time at church camp.

3. The opportunity to take 4 middle school girls from our homeschool group to our local food bank to volunteer. We worked with other volunteers today to organize and box 10,179 pounds of food to be distributed throughout our state to people who are hungry.

4. Tonight! I can hardly wait! I get to go work with some other ladies to prepare for the school year for our homeschool group. We're going to the home of Miss Musicality (my sister) & the 5 of us will get to talk, eat, plan, talk, eat, work, giggle, talk, and sleep a little. There are still some details that we need God to iron out for the year and we can't wait for Him to show up tonight & reveal those details to us!!!

5. New springs on the garage door. Although it did cost money to replace them, thanks to my couponing we were fairly stocked around here and I didn't have to make many more purchases for this week.

6. The Crockpot. I love the smell of the house when I've planned ahead and put a roast in it for the day. And we all love the taste of a yummy dinner.

7. Camp laundry being caught up. All the gross lake clothes are clean.

8. My marriage. I know several people right now whose marriages are struggling and I'm grateful for a Godly husband who adores me.

9. Family being so close to us.

Kinder, Gentler

Cowboy and I marvel at the kinder, gentler side of our sweet C-Man. Yes, his 10-year old voice is getting deeper by the day. Yes, we see peach fuzz above his upper lip. Yes, he STINKS TO HIGH HEAVEN when he forgets his deodorant. Yes, he gets annoyed with his siblings and lets it show.



However, he has a very special bond with NoBo. He is tender and gentle in a way that many would think not possible for a pre-adolescent kid. We know he is going to be such an amazing dad some day. Until then, we're just grateful for the wonderful brother that he is.