Ebony or Ivory?

If I choose ivory this time, does it mean I'll never get another ebony?...

I have been teary today and I don't know why. I think I'm getting a bit overwhelmed at thoughts of the past week and a half. We were able to finalize adoption on our sweet Little I on October 31st. This has been such a long wait for our family. After the adoption, the Judge looked at me and said, "You know there's more where that one came from." I told him we were ready for more.

Now it looks like we could have another placement, but it's not the placement we thought we wanted next. We had in our minds that we needed another brown-skin boy so that Little I wouldn't feel like an outsider within his own family. When I write this down it seems so silly to me. I think about God's adoption of me. He didn't seem to care that I am completely different from every other child of His. He didn't make sure I was a certain race, gender, or age. So why is it so hard for me & Cowboy to make this decision? At church today God seemed to be telling me in a variety of ways that we should say yes to this placement. However, Cowboy doesn't agree. Because I love God and trust him to give Cowboy the answers for our family, I'm waiting.

By the way, it took Cowboy quite a while to decide we needed a 3rd child. Then, when it wasn't possible to have a third biologically, it took even longer for him to decide that we should pursue adoption. I'll just wait on him to hear from God or I'll trust God to change my heart on this matter.