Because I've been a foster parent for a few years now, I've had plenty of time in juvenile courtrooms in my state.
LOTS of good people watching! I have seen some hysterical things (people swearing up and down they're not high come back into the courtroom a bit later with a failed test). Some bizarre things (an older gentleman have a seizure, EMT's came in, and the judge continued to hold court). Some things that make me downright angry (parents who are idiots and don't take care of their kids)!
The absolute saddest things I've seen are parents relinquishing their parental rights.
Let me clarify--I was not in court the day that Little I's biological mother (BM, as we refer to her) relinquished her rights. There was nothing sad at all about that to me on that day. I cried tears of pure joy when Cowboy called to give me the news. However, I feel sad for her when I think of her. I pray for her. I worry about her life. I want her to know God and spend eternity with us and live out His purpose for her here on earth.
Back to the sad stuff...
Yesterday I went to court for NoBo's case. His mom, who we love, relinquished her parental rights. I cried with her. It's a happy-sad kind of thing. We're thrilled we'll most likely get to love on NoBo for his whole life, but we're sad for his sweet mom.
Showing posts with label foster parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label foster parenting. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Providence
Yesterday started out as one of those days. I entered the little boys' bedroom to the discover the stinch of puke on NoBo. I didn't see any evidence, but I knew it was there. I immediately went into panic. This is the teeny tiny 2-year old who doesn't even weigh 19 pounds. His body can't afford to get any smaller and I can't afford to lose time with my family by being in the hospital with him, if dehydration happened. After a clean-up, he acted as if he was starving. I tried his cup, which he quickly ejected from his body. I cleaned everything up, sent out a text to family, friends, and his case worker asking for prayer.
With all of this taking place, I decided to change my plans for the day. I'd stay in all day with kiddos, instead of running a few errands I had planned on.
Little Bit's mom called at about this time and I explained to her we SO wanted to have Little Bit over to spend the night, but was now worried about giving her NoBo's stomach crud. I told her Cowboy would pick up Little Bit after he got off work unless she heard back from me that NoBo had gotten sick again.
Well...NoBo did NOT get sick again, but I did get many Christmas gifts wrapped during afternoon nap time, some dishes done, and laundry mostly caught up.
Cowboy called after picking up Little Bit and told me her mom, her siblings, and her don't currently have a home. They've been driving around in their van for the past day, but the van was now about out of gas and they were out of money. They'd been living with a boyfriend of mom's, who was getting ready to get violent. Mom felt it was necessary for everybody's safety to leave everything behind and get out of there. Cowboy told me to plan to have Little Bit through Christmas and possibly longer. The big kids and I kicked it into high gear getting the dining room table cleared (our kitchen table, which seats 6, is clearly NOT big enough for a family of 7), cleaning bathrooms, rounding up clothes for her, etc.
This morning, after having Little Bit safely nestled between me and Cowboy during the night, I am SO grateful for God's providence. He made a way yesterday for me to get more done at home than I'd planned, because of NoBo's yucky tummy.
I would've never dreamed we would be able to have ALL our children home for Christmas together. Thank you, God, for your divine providence!
With all of this taking place, I decided to change my plans for the day. I'd stay in all day with kiddos, instead of running a few errands I had planned on.
Little Bit's mom called at about this time and I explained to her we SO wanted to have Little Bit over to spend the night, but was now worried about giving her NoBo's stomach crud. I told her Cowboy would pick up Little Bit after he got off work unless she heard back from me that NoBo had gotten sick again.
Well...NoBo did NOT get sick again, but I did get many Christmas gifts wrapped during afternoon nap time, some dishes done, and laundry mostly caught up.
Cowboy called after picking up Little Bit and told me her mom, her siblings, and her don't currently have a home. They've been driving around in their van for the past day, but the van was now about out of gas and they were out of money. They'd been living with a boyfriend of mom's, who was getting ready to get violent. Mom felt it was necessary for everybody's safety to leave everything behind and get out of there. Cowboy told me to plan to have Little Bit through Christmas and possibly longer. The big kids and I kicked it into high gear getting the dining room table cleared (our kitchen table, which seats 6, is clearly NOT big enough for a family of 7), cleaning bathrooms, rounding up clothes for her, etc.
This morning, after having Little Bit safely nestled between me and Cowboy during the night, I am SO grateful for God's providence. He made a way yesterday for me to get more done at home than I'd planned, because of NoBo's yucky tummy.
I would've never dreamed we would be able to have ALL our children home for Christmas together. Thank you, God, for your divine providence!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Two of a Kind
When Cowboy & I were engaged there was a Garth Brooks song that we loved, Two of a Kind Working on a Full House. Cowboy kept teasing me that it would be sung at our wedding. I put my foot down there--how hick are we, really? I said the ONLY way that would be sung at our wedding was by Garth himself. He assured me he could make that happen, since we both went to the same high school and college as Garth (only 10 years later).
Well...the song was thankfully not sung at our wedding. I just happened to think of that song today and thought that there are many times I feel like our house couldn't get any more full. (Yes, my friends with BIG families, I know it could). My family today is not at all what I thought my family would look like, but I wouldn't change it for ANYTHING! God has worked in our lives in ways, that 17 years ago when we were a few weeks shy of being married, would've been unimaginable to us.
So...is your house full? Do you have a real faith in Christ? Are you living it? Can you welcome into your home a child who is currently without parents? I'm challenging you now to pray about how your family can help foster children in your area during 2010. Perhaps you can become a foster family or an adoptive family or a respite family or volunteer at your county's shelter, where the kids live while they wait for a foster home.
Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world. James 1:27 (The Message)
Well...the song was thankfully not sung at our wedding. I just happened to think of that song today and thought that there are many times I feel like our house couldn't get any more full. (Yes, my friends with BIG families, I know it could). My family today is not at all what I thought my family would look like, but I wouldn't change it for ANYTHING! God has worked in our lives in ways, that 17 years ago when we were a few weeks shy of being married, would've been unimaginable to us.
So...is your house full? Do you have a real faith in Christ? Are you living it? Can you welcome into your home a child who is currently without parents? I'm challenging you now to pray about how your family can help foster children in your area during 2010. Perhaps you can become a foster family or an adoptive family or a respite family or volunteer at your county's shelter, where the kids live while they wait for a foster home.
Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world. James 1:27 (The Message)
Saturday, June 13, 2009
NoBo's progress
A few weeks ago I expressed some frustration to Cowboy that NoBo was just not progressing like I hoped he would when he first came to our home. Cowboy pointed out many ways that NoBo had made progress since coming to live with our family in January. Recently I've noticed even more progress, which is very hopeful.
As many of you know, we really struggle with NoBo's eating. Recently we've gone to a psychologist's office for some help with his food aversions. Things seem to be looking up. A few days ago he weighed in at a whopping 18.7 pounds. The 18-pound mark has seemed like an unattainable goal since we've had NoBo. Everytime he'd approach 18 pounds he'd get sick and lose back down. Needless to say, we've been rejoicing with his weight gain!!!
He's vocalizing often and the sounds he makes are no longer just vowel sounds. Yay for consonants!
A few minutes ago he took his first step!!!
Currently he's throwing a fit because I won't let him touch the keyboard. Things like this are a huge praise. I know that sounds funny, but I get excited when he exhibits "normal" behaviors. He's throwing a fit right now as I type that is very typical of a 1 1/2 year old. YAY!!!
Thanks for letting me share my excitement in the baby steps. I'm believing God will continue to restore losses that NoBo has had.
As many of you know, we really struggle with NoBo's eating. Recently we've gone to a psychologist's office for some help with his food aversions. Things seem to be looking up. A few days ago he weighed in at a whopping 18.7 pounds. The 18-pound mark has seemed like an unattainable goal since we've had NoBo. Everytime he'd approach 18 pounds he'd get sick and lose back down. Needless to say, we've been rejoicing with his weight gain!!!
He's vocalizing often and the sounds he makes are no longer just vowel sounds. Yay for consonants!
A few minutes ago he took his first step!!!
Currently he's throwing a fit because I won't let him touch the keyboard. Things like this are a huge praise. I know that sounds funny, but I get excited when he exhibits "normal" behaviors. He's throwing a fit right now as I type that is very typical of a 1 1/2 year old. YAY!!!
Thanks for letting me share my excitement in the baby steps. I'm believing God will continue to restore losses that NoBo has had.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
For the Love of Pete--Are you Kidding Me???
OK, do you remember the unfortunate fate of one of Cowboy's grill tools a few weeks ago? The event happened again just a few minutes ago! Same child, same incident with the toilet paper holder, but I wasn't going to surrender another grill tool of Cowboy's. So...I spent five minutes wandering aimlessly through the house for the perfect retriever. Well, it wasn't perfect, but I wound up using this Tupperware egg-dyeing spoon thingy.
When I say it wasn't perfect, you get it, right? I had a thorough hand-washing immediately following the event before I sat down to the laptop to vent!!!
On another note...
Do you know how frustrating it is as a foster parent to be told that your foster child's case in court will be heard at 10 and when you and your husband arrive PLENTY early you've missed the whole event? Then you find out that the foster child's mother's attorney dared to call you and your husband neglectful, suggesting you're the reason the said child is not gaining weight!!! Part of me wants to completely throw in the towel and go straight adoption to have another permanent member of our family!!! Seriously--it's not worth it! We weren't even able to be in the courtroom to defend ourselves. I love it when the biological families act like we're the enemy! Wake up, people, your own actions (or lack of actions) caused DHS to remove your children from your home! My job is to simply care for the child while he is in DHS custody.
URGH! Obviously I need to vent--sorry to anyone who expected something light-hearted or sweet! It's just not happening today, or at least right now.
When I say it wasn't perfect, you get it, right? I had a thorough hand-washing immediately following the event before I sat down to the laptop to vent!!!
On another note...
Do you know how frustrating it is as a foster parent to be told that your foster child's case in court will be heard at 10 and when you and your husband arrive PLENTY early you've missed the whole event? Then you find out that the foster child's mother's attorney dared to call you and your husband neglectful, suggesting you're the reason the said child is not gaining weight!!! Part of me wants to completely throw in the towel and go straight adoption to have another permanent member of our family!!! Seriously--it's not worth it! We weren't even able to be in the courtroom to defend ourselves. I love it when the biological families act like we're the enemy! Wake up, people, your own actions (or lack of actions) caused DHS to remove your children from your home! My job is to simply care for the child while he is in DHS custody.
URGH! Obviously I need to vent--sorry to anyone who expected something light-hearted or sweet! It's just not happening today, or at least right now.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Here's the Reason I Don't Have 5 Kids
Little Bit is over today to spend the night with us. We've missed her terribly, but I do know my limits. Right now my limit is 4 kids! Here are some pics of the last time Little Bit spent the night with us. These will help you better understand why my limit is 4.
Can you tell she just wants to be near NoBo?
Little Bit just insists NoBo's her baby, even though she's only 2 months older than him! :)
Our family is so blessed to be able to love on these babies. And we're extremely thrilled that we are still part of Little Bit's life. She's so precious!
Can you tell she just wants to be near NoBo?
Little Bit just insists NoBo's her baby, even though she's only 2 months older than him! :)
Our family is so blessed to be able to love on these babies. And we're extremely thrilled that we are still part of Little Bit's life. She's so precious!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Never in a Million Years
My mission trip continues. Apparently, there were no flights out today so I'm staying at least an extra day.
Tonight I'm experiencing something totally new and surprising. I'm not only sleeping in a hospital room with a little guy who's still mostly disinterested in food, and has beeping monitors, but tonight I'm sharing this tiny room with said little boy's grandmother.
Did someone in the crowd say, "Awkward!" You nailed it! Weird is another word that would correctly describe this situation. Never in a million years would I have guessed that our plans to foster parent would have landed me in this situation.
Without divulging too much information, let me tell you how this came to be. NoBo's family is encouraged to spend time with him, even at the hospital. I'm not sure which one of them came up with the brilliant idea of the grandmother being the one to stay overnight with him, though. His grandmother thinks on a similar level as my dear cousin, J., who has Down Syndrome. Does that shed some light on the situation?
So far she's almost let him fall out of the tall hospital crib onto his head. She's watched him throw a bottle and a toy out of the crib and not gone to pick them up. She's sitting in the chair that turns into a "bed". She didn't know how to turn on the TV with the remote. She has silently played peek-a-boo with him while he's trying to go to sleep and then whispered in that loud whisper that only a mentally challenged person has, "Noah, go to sleep!" I'm trying so hard not to laugh my head off!
I'm completely unsure of where or how I'm going to sleep tonight, but she told me she normally stays up until 1 and sleeps until 11. Good times, people! Good times!
The good news is that she really loves NoBo. She just smiles at him all the time.
I hope I'm smiling in the morning!
Tonight I'm experiencing something totally new and surprising. I'm not only sleeping in a hospital room with a little guy who's still mostly disinterested in food, and has beeping monitors, but tonight I'm sharing this tiny room with said little boy's grandmother.
Did someone in the crowd say, "Awkward!" You nailed it! Weird is another word that would correctly describe this situation. Never in a million years would I have guessed that our plans to foster parent would have landed me in this situation.
Without divulging too much information, let me tell you how this came to be. NoBo's family is encouraged to spend time with him, even at the hospital. I'm not sure which one of them came up with the brilliant idea of the grandmother being the one to stay overnight with him, though. His grandmother thinks on a similar level as my dear cousin, J., who has Down Syndrome. Does that shed some light on the situation?
So far she's almost let him fall out of the tall hospital crib onto his head. She's watched him throw a bottle and a toy out of the crib and not gone to pick them up. She's sitting in the chair that turns into a "bed". She didn't know how to turn on the TV with the remote. She has silently played peek-a-boo with him while he's trying to go to sleep and then whispered in that loud whisper that only a mentally challenged person has, "Noah, go to sleep!" I'm trying so hard not to laugh my head off!
I'm completely unsure of where or how I'm going to sleep tonight, but she told me she normally stays up until 1 and sleeps until 11. Good times, people! Good times!
The good news is that she really loves NoBo. She just smiles at him all the time.
I hope I'm smiling in the morning!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Well THAT Didn't go Like I Expected
Well, we got back about an hour ago from taking Little Bit home. Can I just say what a great sense of humor God has?
The night we had last night took me back to about a year ago, when Little Bit had horrible nights. She screamed until 12:30 this morning, whether being held or not. She then woke up around 2:30 doing the same thing. This morning she was crabby! Needless to say, I couldn't get ready and out the door fast enough!
Cowboy was gone all evening and we did not get to pray over her like I wanted. I was too busy being mom and didn't get my Dad to come over and dedicate her. I STINK at follow-through.
If you didn't already know that about me, sorry to shatter any thoughts of grandeur you had of me. Here's the truth: I SERIOUSLY STINK AT FOLLOW-THROUGH! OK, I'm probably being a bit harsh on myself, but it's how I'm feeling.
The good news is that Little Bit's mom told me and the kids today to not be sad. She said, "You can seriously have her whenever you want her." That made me happy! Not only will we still get to see her, but her mom understands the need to get breaks.
The night we had last night took me back to about a year ago, when Little Bit had horrible nights. She screamed until 12:30 this morning, whether being held or not. She then woke up around 2:30 doing the same thing. This morning she was crabby! Needless to say, I couldn't get ready and out the door fast enough!
Cowboy was gone all evening and we did not get to pray over her like I wanted. I was too busy being mom and didn't get my Dad to come over and dedicate her. I STINK at follow-through.
If you didn't already know that about me, sorry to shatter any thoughts of grandeur you had of me. Here's the truth: I SERIOUSLY STINK AT FOLLOW-THROUGH! OK, I'm probably being a bit harsh on myself, but it's how I'm feeling.
The good news is that Little Bit's mom told me and the kids today to not be sad. She said, "You can seriously have her whenever you want her." That made me happy! Not only will we still get to see her, but her mom understands the need to get breaks.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Little Bit Going Home
Little Bit, our precious foster baby, came home with us as a newborn from the hospital in August of 2007. We were told it would be a short placement. WOW!!! It has now been over 17 months. I received the "official" word today that she will be going home on Friday.
Is it going to be hard to take her home? Absolutely! But, then again, almost every day with her in our home has been hard. She's been the most difficult baby we've ever had. My friend gave me a suggestion last night that I think our family will follow through with. She suggested we each right out a prayer for her and pray these prayers over her. Also, another friend said they always baptize their babies before they went to their forever homes. (Her husband is a minister, by the way). Well, we dedicate our children to God when they're young. So I think I'll call my Dad, who's a minister, and have him walk across the street tomorrow to dedicate her little life to the Lord.
Cowboy and I have several concerns for her little life. First of all, he's the only man in her life. She'll be living in a home with a mom and 3 siblings (all from different biological dads), but no Daddy. Secondly, her mom is a single mom who will be raising 4 kids. Thirdly, her mom is a recovered user. Fourthly, although her mom loves her and loves God, she will not have the kind of upbringing that my kids have. :( OK, that's it. I'm not listing anymore because I'm getting a little sad. You get the picture.
Even through the sadness, Friday can't come soon enough for me. I know this sounds harsh, but God has truly guarded my heart. Little Bit makes me cry out to God daily for help and we're really ready for another brown skin boy in our home.
36 more hours.
Is it going to be hard to take her home? Absolutely! But, then again, almost every day with her in our home has been hard. She's been the most difficult baby we've ever had. My friend gave me a suggestion last night that I think our family will follow through with. She suggested we each right out a prayer for her and pray these prayers over her. Also, another friend said they always baptize their babies before they went to their forever homes. (Her husband is a minister, by the way). Well, we dedicate our children to God when they're young. So I think I'll call my Dad, who's a minister, and have him walk across the street tomorrow to dedicate her little life to the Lord.
Cowboy and I have several concerns for her little life. First of all, he's the only man in her life. She'll be living in a home with a mom and 3 siblings (all from different biological dads), but no Daddy. Secondly, her mom is a single mom who will be raising 4 kids. Thirdly, her mom is a recovered user. Fourthly, although her mom loves her and loves God, she will not have the kind of upbringing that my kids have. :( OK, that's it. I'm not listing anymore because I'm getting a little sad. You get the picture.
Even through the sadness, Friday can't come soon enough for me. I know this sounds harsh, but God has truly guarded my heart. Little Bit makes me cry out to God daily for help and we're really ready for another brown skin boy in our home.
36 more hours.
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